It's That Time

Dear Allen,

Today you start high school. I cannot tell you how impossible that seems to me.  I remember the day Dad and I found that we were expecting you.  I remember it perfectly.  I called Grandpa Campbell and he was SO excited.  After I hung up, I called immediately back to tell him not to pass the news around “quite yet” and I couldn’t get through for an hour.  He and Grammie were calling all their friends. 

From the start you were so loved.

When you were 2 weeks old, we flew from Virginia Beach to Indianapolis.  Your Aunt Rachel needed us.  It was a difficult season in her life and the lives of your cousins.  I will never forget the first time you met your cousin Skyler.  I know a bond was formed in those early moments that has lasted your lifetime and will continue, as you become a man.

I can see you running ahead of Great Grandma when she watched you as toddler and little boy.  I see her threaten you with a stick to slow you down.  This is when we first began to realize how fast you are.

I see you building snowmen with your Grandpa Campbell.  I remember you eating pancakes with him and asking a million questions.  I see you curled up in Snope's cage, “hiding”.  I remember all your Sunday School Christmas programs and how adorable you looked singing about Jesus.  I see Grandpa hustling around on the floor trying to get that perfect picture.  I remember you tagging along with dad and Grandpa to the “deer land”.  Quiet wasn’t really your thing, but they both couldn’t have been happier to have you with them.  I remember my absolute despair,when I saw beyond my own loss, to the loss that you would experience – when Grandpa went to heaven.

I see you making Christmas cookies with Grammie and playingat the park.  I remember Grammie pulling you in that red wagon with snoop pulling ahead. I remember our tears when we found out snoop had died in his sleep.

I remember how you loved Nana’s farm and all of the animals there.  I see you and dad, filthy after a day there – with a smile on your face. 

I remember all of your birthdays.  I just can’t remember how you got so old.  I remember the birthday you turned 5. For some reason, it made me catch my breath and I took notice of how quickly the time was passing.  Now you are almost 15!  10 years has passed and I’m not sure where they went.

I remember how proud you were when we brought Izzy home from the hospital and maybe a little puzzled. I’ve seen you welcome 2 sisters and a brother to your family.  Being the oldest has its challenges and often feels unfair, but son, it has its advantages too.  You are a natural born leader and I see you use that talent with Maggie and Canaan often.

I remember those years at Calvary.  You worked hard and excelled.  When God called us to Tennessee, and we transitioned to Rossview, you did beautifully. Your skill on the basketball court takes me back in my mind to when dad played.  The similarities in your games must be genetic because they are really there. I loved watching you play ball for Rossview, and I loved how you made friends with multiple social groups.  You are kind and respectful to your peers and that makes your dad and I very proud. 

I pray your high school experience will be everything you hope it to be.  I pray you use this time to work hard, train hard, prepare hard for the road that God is preparing for you.  I pray that you will draw closer to God and reach out to people around you. I pray that you will have so much fun that the hard work doesn’t seem so overwhelming.  I pray that you come to an understanding that you are entering some of the best days of your life and you will love them!

As we learn to let go and let you grow into the young man that God intends you to be, I pray that when you fail, you will get right back up.  I pray that you will admit your mistakes and learn from them.  I pray that you will learn to make good choices and you will see the rewards of those choices. I pray that you will stand up for the bullied kids, just as you have allof your educational career.  

I pray that you will always remember you are a Dodge and make us proud. 

Most importantly, I pray that you will always remember you are a Christian and make God proud.

We love you son! 

Today He is THREE!

Today He is Three

The little boy I didn’t even know I wanted; but now I couldn’t live without.

The little boy I didn’t love until I fist looked into hiseyes. 

The little boy who looks like a Dodge but acts like a Campbell.

The little boy who can’t say “C” but can speak directly to my soul

The little boy who will never know his Grandpa but behaves like he does.

The little boy I didn’t beg God for, but now I wonder why that was

The little boy who loves alligators, airplanes, Grandme and Mr. Derrick.  He loves chocolate and corn, staying up late and sleeping in mommy and daddy’s bed.   He loves Allen and loves soccer and baseball and He loves Izzy and reading and the Kratt brothers.  He loves wrestling and swimming without his life jacket. He love loves loves the ocean and karate chops waves for hours.

The little boy who doesn’t love his grandpa because he doesn’t know who he is, but loves his Uncle Jason so!  In this, my heart is peaceful.  It feels right.

The little boy I birthed when I was old is the one who makes me young.

The little boy who is as stubborn as his mama and as sweet as his daddy.

The little boy who makes my heart race when he sprints to the ocean and when he curls up next to me to sleep.

The little boy who brings me so much happiness and almost as much aggravation.

The little boy who knows no fear but whose heart is as tender as it is courageous.

The little boy who wants to be big and races after his sister but always looks behind.

The little boy who is the final of four and the completer ofour family. 

The little boy I'll love forever and like for a lifetime is getting big.  My heart is full of pride and desperation.

QUICK time!  Slow down.