Beginning again and again and again
It feels like that is all I do.
Matt traveled from Wednesday - Friday this week. I did not do well while he was gone.
I am desperate to stop eating junk.
I just don't know how to make myself get back in the zone.
I don't have any junk food in the house.
Ask me if that stops me?
I am so piss poor bad at planning, that I have to go to the store every day for dinner food anyway. So while I'm there (after eating clean all day long) I go right ahead and buy crap that I know I will binge on.
I haven't weighed in 2 days.
I promised myself I weigh every day.
It's gotten to the point where I'm even lying to myself.
I don't know why, but I'm going to try again today.
Here's hoping it goes better.
Best,
Barb
Saturday, March 7, 2015
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
No Cheat March - March 1 (the eve of Day 1)
March 1, 2015
No Cheat March
I want to put a few thought down, mostly for myself. I don't know if I will ever publish this but on the off chance that I actually follow through - I want to have a real start point.
In 2 years I have gained back every ounce I lost 3 years ago. Meaning, I officially have to lose 50-60 pounds again. I don't even want to think about the reasons and the psychology behind this craziness - but it is what it is.
Stats:
W: 38
Hips: 41.5
Thigh: 25.5
Arm 14.5
Bust: 38-39
Butt: 19 at pubic bone
Some pictures:
My goal look:
I know it won't be easy. I have started and stopped so many times in the last 2 years. I'm completely miserable an obsessing every minute about what I eat. I either am binging and (controlled by food) or "dieting" (and controlled by food). I know I need to go back to clean eating. It worked well for me and I maintained it for several years. There a lot of reasons I quit and the "quitting" was really slow. I hope to do some posts later to get it all on "paper" and remind myself why I shouldn't go back there.
No Cheat March
I want to put a few thought down, mostly for myself. I don't know if I will ever publish this but on the off chance that I actually follow through - I want to have a real start point.
In 2 years I have gained back every ounce I lost 3 years ago. Meaning, I officially have to lose 50-60 pounds again. I don't even want to think about the reasons and the psychology behind this craziness - but it is what it is.
Stats:
W: 38
Hips: 41.5
Thigh: 25.5
Arm 14.5
Bust: 38-39
Butt: 19 at pubic bone
Some pictures:
My goal look:
I know it won't be easy. I have started and stopped so many times in the last 2 years. I'm completely miserable an obsessing every minute about what I eat. I either am binging and (controlled by food) or "dieting" (and controlled by food). I know I need to go back to clean eating. It worked well for me and I maintained it for several years. There a lot of reasons I quit and the "quitting" was really slow. I hope to do some posts later to get it all on "paper" and remind myself why I shouldn't go back there.
Day 2 - Clean(er) Eating
Still in the "honeymoon phase". Day 1 and 2 are complete. I've eaten clean and no binges. I did wake up in the middle of the night last night and eat 2 cliff bars. They are pretty high calorie, but overall good for me. I'm not going to complain about it. It could have been way worse.
Day 3 is always hard for me and I'm not looking forward to it. Matt has a dinner tomorrow in Augusta and I know I'm going to be really stressed. I have a full day with work and I'm also scheduled to be Maggie's lunch mom.
I'm loosly tracking on My Fitness Pal. I gave up my 3 year logging in streak last week. It really felt obsessive and it wasn't doing me a lick of good. I'm basically keep track now, just so I can look back and see what worked and what didn't. I'm using it to keep track of exercise too. I did 5 on the treadmil today.
I HAVE to exercise first thing in the morning - or it just won't happen. By the end of the day, I'm just tired and I won't do it.
Maggie starts soccer tomorrow. We are busy people. I wish there was something I could cut out.
Honestly, I'm stressed. The business is stressful. Teenagers are stressful. Food is stressful.
Good night all.
Best,
Barb
Day 3 is always hard for me and I'm not looking forward to it. Matt has a dinner tomorrow in Augusta and I know I'm going to be really stressed. I have a full day with work and I'm also scheduled to be Maggie's lunch mom.
I'm loosly tracking on My Fitness Pal. I gave up my 3 year logging in streak last week. It really felt obsessive and it wasn't doing me a lick of good. I'm basically keep track now, just so I can look back and see what worked and what didn't. I'm using it to keep track of exercise too. I did 5 on the treadmil today.
I HAVE to exercise first thing in the morning - or it just won't happen. By the end of the day, I'm just tired and I won't do it.
Maggie starts soccer tomorrow. We are busy people. I wish there was something I could cut out.
Honestly, I'm stressed. The business is stressful. Teenagers are stressful. Food is stressful.
Good night all.
Best,
Barb
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