The Day Your Dad Goes To Heaven

I'll never forget the day my dad went to Heaven. Some things can't be forgotten even if you want to, this isn't one of those things, but there are parts I wish I could forget.

Four years ago, on August 3, my dad went to see Jesus. I know where He is and just as importantly, I know that He knew where He was going.

After He died, I almost immediately became more interested in Heaven and what it would be like. I'm a little ashamed that this fascination was born out of my dad dieing and not Jesus dieing, but that's the way it was.

I read a very good book called Heaven by Randy Alcorn and then I purchased his book, Heaven for Kids, for Allen and Isabell. Such amazing things we can learn about Heaven and even more that we'll get to find out when we get there. My perception of Heaven was completely inadequate and often times, wrong. I hope you'll pick up these books and give them a go.

For the most part, "dates" aren't that important to me. I miss my dad everyday and I don't miss him anymore on the day he died. Days on the other hand often make me realize how much I miss him. Days like, Allen's first football game or the day Isabell lost her first tooth, or the day that Maggie was born.

I wrote the following little bit right after he died, so I could remember and I thought I'd add it here...Enjoy your days peeps - you don't know when that date is coming...

Mostly I Remember



Mostly I remember my dad and the good times. The day he went in the hospital we had been blueberry picking and brought Allen and Isabell along. I remember my dad complaining LOUDLY (mostly to embarrass me) about the 2 fat women in the row over from us because all they did was gossip. Then when it was time to leave having to pay my bill too, because I had no idea it was cash only. Sometimes though, I see him that night in the emergency room. I see the small glint of fear in his eyes but he's doing a good job making sure we don't see it. I hear Mr. Reece as he prays while we all stand around his bed and I feel the fear in my heart.


Mostly I remember him at Isabell's 4th birthday party. The one she is so proud of because "Grandpa was at her party last", but sometimes I remember my birthday only 13 days after he went to heaven and I cry for what should have been.


Mostly I remember him earlier that summer at the cabin. How he drove my brand new truck like a mad man down the highway, "to make sure it works, he said". How he played dominos with Isabell, Allen and me at the table. I remember sitting with him down by lake just relaxing and talking about the view. I can actually see him sleeping in the recliner, while I slept on the couch after a day in Tawas. I see us tromping through the woods and finding fire wood. We would have taken the neighbors by accident but she came out and stopped us. I remember him splitting the wood and sitting around the last fire he ever made. I can smell the wood burning and hear it crackling as I type. I remember him sharing a samore with Isabell that day and how she looked sitting on his lap eating it. But sometimes I remember the trip to Saginaw and the day he went in for the angio. I remember him lying on his back as he came out of the procedure and the discouraged look on his face. I remember him telling me, "They are going to bypass me on Monday". WHAT!?! How is this possible? I remember us all there, silent.


Mostly I remember my dad at Christmas time.

Me: "Dad, what should I tell the kid about Santa?"

Him: "Barbara, you know if you don't believe in Santa, he probably won't come"

Me: "That's helpful, thanks a lot dad."

I remember his excitement over everything about Christmas. He LOVED it so much. I can see him crawling around on the floor at the Christmas Program to get the pictures of Allen and Isabell. I remember his coming over during Christmas vacation and building snowmen with Allen. I remember the snowball fights between the kids and grandpa and I can see him sitting at my kitchen table after they were done. I hear him, "I love you sis…see you tomorrow."


Mostly I remember my dad with Ariana. I remember the look of pride on his face while he stood next to Jason just after Haley gave birth to the most beautiful baby in the world. I see my brother hug my dad when he leaves the hospital and I feel this new bond he has with my dad. I understand it because I experienced it when Allen was born. I see him hold her and I am so happy that he met her and loved her. But sometimes I see my brothers face in the lobby of the Saginaw hospital when we leave the night he died. I see the deepest sorrow I've ever seen. I understand it - because I feel it too. I hear Ariana screaming like she somehow knows, Grandpa is gone.


Mostly I remember my dad in Florida. I remember his picking us up at the airport and taking us to his hotel. I remember Disney world and see him watching his grandkids ride the rides. I see the amusement and joy on his face. I see him in the swimming pool with Allen and sitting on the side warming Isabell up. I hear him tell Allen, "I love you". I see him negotiating with the salesman in the vacation office. I see him on the dock waiting for Matt to get back from deep sea fishing. I just see him. But sometimes I remember him before he went to open heart surgery. I hear him, already a little dopey from the drugs, telling me, "Sis, you know if anything happens, I'll be heaven." How I wish I'd said, "I'll meet you there dad!" but instead I said, don't you dare talk like that, adding to his worry, I'm sure. "Sis, take care of your mama" and I said, "Don't you dare leave me alone!" and the last thing he ever spoke to me with words, "I love you, sis!" and I said, "Me too dad!"


Mostly I remember my dad sitting on my couch at work. The familiar smell and feel of him. I remember eating lunch with him, talking work with him, making plans with him while he sat on the flowered sofa. I hear him joking with Mrs. Reece and giving Amy a hard time. Code 9 and what do you got for a snack and always, "love you sis" but sometimes I remember him lying in the bed after the surgery. I see the machine breathing for him and I feel him squeeze my hand; one…two…three…four times – our signal I love you sis! Me saying, I love you." but I already knew in my heart.


Whenever my mom or Jason would go in the room to see him, I'd tell them to tell dad that I was out there with mom and that I loved him. I didn't go back in until my brother told me one night on the way home that when he told my dad the message that time, dad was agitated and pointed at the clock as if to say, "it's time" get her in here. I went in to see him the afternoon he died. I told him I loved him, I wish now I'd said more.


Sometimes I remember the sweet sound of Amazing Grace and the way we sang it around his bed. I believe this is the last thing he heard before he heard Jesus say, Well done. I will never forget the look on Mr. Reece's face as he watched his best friend go to heaven. I will never forget how my mom looked as she laid her head on his chest for the last time. I CAN NOT forget the feel of his sweet face as I kissed him on the cheek the last time. I can not wait to feel that again in Heaven.


Sometimes I hear myself begging the Lord, please. But mostly, I remember…