Sugar Fast: Tomorrow - It's Only a Day Away

I am feeling pretty desperate about my eating situation.  I have literally gained and lost the same 50(ish) pounds my entire adult life.  Well, probably longer than that.  I remember losing before my wedding and I married Matt when I was 3 days 20.

This last "loss" I PROMISED would be my last.  I'll never do this again, I proudly exclaimed to my friends.  This isn't a "diet" this is a LIFESTYLE change.  If I had a dollar for every time I hear someone, new to the dieting world, say that - I would be RICH!  There I was, saying it myself. I was so excited.  I felt so healthy.  I had cleaned up my diet and was running at least 25 miles a week.  I trained for my first half marathon and literally weighed 20 pounds less than I did on my wedding day.

Enter LIFE!  I've always loved food.  Always!  Even when I'm in control - I still love to eat.  When I'm stressed, sad, happy, excited, depressed, angry, calm - I'll use food to mitigate my feelings.  Obviously, not healthy but that's a story for another day.  2013 was a huge year for us.  For a lot of reasons.  And I used those reasons to eat.  We moved to South Carolina on February 1 of 2013 and I have gained 30 pounds.  Worse, I've lost all confidence in myself.  I'm completely out of control.  I worship the feelings that food bring me.  I can not get through one.single.day. without self-medicating with food.

I know this has to change.  HAS to.  I know it isn't healthy.  I don't want to die young, like my dad.  I don't want to dishonor God by abusing my body.  I don't want my husband to be forever married to the fat girl.  I don't want...but do I NOT want it enough to change for good?!  Sitting here, typing this I don't feel very hopeful.

So tomorrow begins my 7 day sugar fast.  I'll weigh myself and take a few measurements.  I'll write about how I did and how I feel about how I did.  Maybe there will be some winning with losing.


Love Forever,
Barb